Overwhelmed

Overwhelmed. Do you ever feel just a little bit that way? Like being a parent is the biggest job you've ever been given in your life, and suddenly you're responsible for another human being's life and it changes you forever?

Today I was nursing Alexander on our bed and I almost fell asleep... but I snapped out of it when I heard the THUD on the floor. The kid is a rollaholic and rolled right off the bed in an instant of heavy eyelids. Snap. One split second. One thud. One skipped heartbeat, one loud cry, one freaked out mama!!! One scoop, one hug, one check-over, and one smile. He smiled at me and started playing with my hair.

As fast as I picked him up he realized he was okay, stopped crying, and started playing with my hair like I was the best mom in the whole world. But I'm not. I was nursing him and thought to myself "I should put a pillow over on the other side of the bed, just incase he rolls in a split second and falls off the bed". Did I? As fast as the thought crossed my mind, my eyes closed and I heard the thud.

Being a parent is such a huge responsibility. God has us care for the life of another human being, and sometimes that responsibility is so overwhelming. I sure hope that I choose the right choices, that I always put my family first in everything I do, that I choose the unselfish route always, that I always take in account their safety.

But I guess when it all comes down to it, we have to realize that we're not in control and that God is watching over us. I know God was watching over Alexander even when I wasn't. It's nice to know, and it makes me a little bit less overwhelmed.

Alexander in his jumper-swing. He plays in it while I dry my hair in the morning. He loves it! Not so much the jumping or the neat toy, pretty much just the tag. Yeah, his favorite part is the tag on the seat that I forgot to rip off. He's a funny boy, he's really fascinated with tags (the sewn on fabric kinds) so I leave them all on his toys : ) His hair is sure thickening up, and lightening up too. It still has that auburn tint to it, just like mine. Maybe if we thatch it and aerate it, it will fill in - hehe